The Truth About Abuse

This is the symbol one can make with their hand to let others know you are in an abusive situation and need help.

What is the truth about abuse? The social stigma that is attached to it. Abusers are not generally abusive with their friends, sometimes their true nature seeps through and other times it is not. I am tired of the abuse cycle, the sleepless nights, walking on eggshells and feeling unheard.

Abuse is not only physical but also psychological. Being abused leaves you worse then you were before, it destroys who you become and forces you to crawl out of a toxic love one in which you feel like you will never heal from.

I am tired of trying to sugarcoat being abused for other people to understand. Yelling at your spouse is abuse, it is unkind, and shows lack of respect. I deserve better. Anyone dealing with abuse deserves better. Someone can not claim to love you while asserting dominance, control, and creating fear to keep you under their thumb. The reality is, abuse is real, many people do not talk about abuse as they fear the backlash from their abuser, and abusers are master manipulators as they promising change, never changing. They have no problem spinning their web to make others see their perspective only and not acknowledge their wrong doings to another person. Generally using their resentment towards their loved one as their secret fuel to try to destroy them.

Being told no one else will love you like they do, no one else would ever do what they are doing for you, is something sad to make you feel small and something to make you stay in your place below them. They will talk about their lives and what they are experiencing but shut you down and not listen to what you have to say. They will say there are to many problems, are you are to sensitive, the right person for you will accept you and all of your flaws.

People whom have survived abuse know the signs, they know what will happen should they ignore red flags. Sadly, illness can lead to the person we love and care about getting care takers burn out, and care takers burn out can lead to abuse. There is hope, there are resources available. Do not give up on you. Abusers will try everything to squash your hopes and dreams, and make you reliant on them. Do not lose yourself.

I found myself after years of neglect, abuse and depravity. I am recovering, I am bitter, but working through it. People can hurt and mar us, but we must do what is in our best interest to survive, to thrive. I have no tolerance for the tactics of abusers now and will draw a line and cut ties if I need to.

I will tell my story, I will not be quiet, I will share what I have been through, the selfishness and lies of others will not quiet me. I am making videos on my youtube channel both art related and vlog related. Lets talk a bit about what has happened and how the resentment of another person nearly destroyed me

This group did wonders for me

Find help across Canada

Published by Ari Villain

Artist and writer. Living with chronic illness and writing about it. I have survived two cancers, I live with hyperadrenergic postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, ehlers-danlos syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, jaundice, esophagus dysmotility, Chilblains, Raynaud's, migraines, asthma, and more. I have mental health problems which I am not ashamed of, I have CPTSD, anxiety, and depression. My medical history is extensive, but I will continue moving forward. I have hope to help others not feel isolated alone, and forgotten by an ableist society.

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